You Will Not Find A Love That Is Perfect, But You Will Find A Love That Is Real
-Bea C. Pilotin
Love is not always a smooth path and is sometimes difficult. It’s not always those clichéd romantic images of sunsets, romantic dinners, roses and candles.
I know we want to believe the opposite. We all love the intoxicating part when we’re most in love- the blissful point of each relationship when everything looks perfect and it feels almost too good to be true. We want fireworks, magic, fairytales and butterflies. It’s supposed to be gentle and understanding. It’s supposed to feel like coming home and never having a single worry.
We think love should always be amazing and incredible. And it’s wonderful to imagine perfect love.
But love, real love, is never perfect. Nothing is. It gets hard when love and life get real. It is tears, yelling, red flags, confrontations and all. It is, in truth, hard work. And when dealing with real love, either one of you, cannot quit at the very first sign of trouble. It doesn’t work like that, at all.
Real love has errors, frustrations and filled with chaos. It has fights, misunderstanding and let-downs. It has ugly emotions and ugly flaws. It can be complicated and, at times, painful. It isn’t crazy, written-in-the-stars coincidence that so many people think of. It’s not just saying “I love you.” It’s doing things and showing it every day. It’s not flimsy or fleeting. It’s about accepting and admiring the other person once you see their real version. It takes time to grow, and this means both of you have to show kindness and understanding with each other sometimes. And that’s what makes it all-consuming and beautiful.
But real love comes after falling. It changes and keeps you in the best way.
Real love means showing up, fighting through the hard parts but fumble over our humble mistakes. It means vulnerability; and vulnerability means imperfection. It’s both of you showing the parts of yourselves that aren’t beautiful. Real love happens when despite how difficult it gets, you say, “Yes, I still love you and we can resolve things.” But most importantly, real love comes when all of this is reciprocated. It is supposed to be sacrificing. Of course, these aren’t bad things.
It comes with complications, messiness and never exactly how we expect it to be. Real love means honesty in your ugliness. It means nights that aren’t romantic.
Love isn’t always easy but choosing to stay and stick around. And that’s how you know it matters. That’s how you know it’s important. And that’s how you know it’s real.
That is real love and that is how you know if your relationship will last.
